In a divergence from DDR's usual insightful jaundiced journalism, we are compelled to bring an announcement that resonates with grim hilarity, SAAVMA Representative Justin Fyfe has issued a public statement acknowledging that Chuck Norris has volunteered to help "encourage" student holdouts to renew their membership to SAAVMA. This is sure to send chills down the spines of the rebellious independents who refuse to bend to the will of the almighty SAAVMA.
Said Chuck Norris in an exclusive interview, "SAAVMA initially offered me a contract, but for Professor Fyfe? I work for free."
While rumors abound regarding the secret relationship between the two martial arts masters, it has been suggested that it was in fact Mr. Fyfe who taught Chuck Norris to grow the legendary beard. Neither would comment directly, and both offered similarly earth-shattering roundhouse kicks in answer.
The only person ever to be exempted from SAAVMA membership was Chuck Norris, although it is worth noting that SAAVMA was not exempted from Chuck Norris membership.
While no specific threats have been issued, the abject terror brought on from knowing that the eyes of Walker: Texas Ranger are upon those who refuse to renew their membership should provide sufficient incentive.
Mr. Norris mentioned that the only reason he would even consider returning to his something-like-law enforcement days is at the request of Justin Fyfe. Said Mr. Norris, "Chuck Norris aspires to be like Prof. Fyfe."
For those of our readers adequately convinced that now is the time to renew your SAAVMA membership, the website is as follows:
http://www.avma.org/savma/dues/default.asp
DDR
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