In yet another bizarre event demonstrating the need to better investigate applicants to SGU’s faculty; it was recently proven that “Dr.” Icthys Menteur, the new professor of marine biology, was actually just a local fisherman hanging out on the SVM dock on True Blue Bay.
The first week of class students were skeptical of his credentials, but endured lectures by the supposed “professor” as he spoke at length about “de bad feesh” and “de good feesh” as well as other common Grenadian species. Students became increasingly suspicious and eventually voiced their concerns after the first dissection. Mr. Menteur reportedly began the demonstration by chopping off the specimen’s head with a machete and proceeding to filet the fish before grilling it over a beach fire. Several students, wishing to remain anonymous, described the procedure as “fascinating,” “innovative,” and “delicious.”
Provost representatives are waiting to determine if anybody who actually has a degree will apply for the job before taking steps to fire Mr. Menteur.
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